Life and Long COVID

 Occasionally people tell me that they check this blog every so often, and sometimes ask me when I'll update it again.  My typical response is, "I'll update it when I have something to say."  I've talked before on here about how, aside from the periodic location changes, my life is still fairly mundane - I work, I eat, I sleep, I hang out, I go to pole class and maybe other things if I've found them.  But I don't get out much on my own aside from the things I need to live day to day (groceries, primarily).

Now, in part this is a financial thing.  I am still living somewhat close to subsistence, in part due to a generally low income (by American standards), and in part due to a couple bad months of work availability and not quite having my savings goals when I left.  Pair that with the unexpected surgery that my insurance didn't cover and the two unexpected flights (one from Istanbul to Batumi, one from Batumi to Gqeberha), and it's a financially strained life.  I'm used to it, having never been what I'd call financially comfortable, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

Still, the occasional "so what have you done, where have you gone, have you been to x y z" questions, not just from friends and family but from acquaintances who learn about my lifestyle, I rarely have a satisfying answer.  I don't go places or see things.

There are two reasons for this.

One.  I don't generally have anyone to go with and to an extent, I've grown a little tired of my own company.  Not that I don't like myself, don't get me wrong.  I make me laugh more than almost anyone in my life (though some of that is just quantity of time spent).  I have interesting observations and ask interesting questions.
But I have no one to answer them.  I have no one to make laugh.  When it's just me going somewhere, the best I can hope for is to take pictures to share with people, like here.  To remark in this blog about the interesting geology of the Sacramento shoreline, or to expound on the differences between Wendy's in Georgia vs the USA.  And just as importantly, I have no one to point out the things I miss, to ask their own interesting questions, to make me laugh, or to disagree with me that actually KFC in Qatar is better than the US.  And no one to suggest things that I wouldn't do on my own.
A lack of shared experience leads to a lower...quality of experience, in a way.  It doesn't mean I shy away from exploring, just that I'm not as directly motivated, intrinsically or extrinsically.

Two.  I got COVID back in Spring of 2022.  How it hit for me was less the upper respiratory stuff (though I had some of that) and more a persistent fatigue.  I was out of work for a full month, and when I came back for two weeks before relocating to my parents' place to start saving up for my lifestyle transition, I could make it maybe 3-4 hours before being too exhausted to continue.

Long COVID is a condition identified, though not well-understood, as being persistent effects, ranging from days to years, where some symptoms of the disease are felt after the disease itself has run its course.  As the link says, theories generally say that COVID has affected the way the body works, be it through immune system alterations or gut biome effects, but there's really no concrete knowledge on it.

My experience, however, is that my general stamina for life as a whole is just...lower since then.  Even the things I enjoy, for the most part, will drain me pretty quickly.  As long as I manage what I do and how much, I'm generally fine. 

But being a nomad adds a few layers to it all.  Navigating the world without language familiarity, having somewhat inconsistent friendships and social support, adjusting to new places and climates...I chose all of this, and wouldn't choose otherwise, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have challenges, it doesn't tax my limited energy reserves.

This month, I tried stepping up my pole class schedule to four/week.  That on top of the D&D group and the normal demands of day-to-day life proved to be too much, and while there wasn't any major negative result, I've been struggling to make headway on work, floundering somewhat in my pole progress, and spending a lot of time at home just...sitting, lying down, or pacing in dull rumination.  I've had even less motivation than usual to go anywhere or do anything, and as such even less than usual to talk about here (and since that was already minimal, the result is just the long silence that we've had).  I dropped to just two classes last week and I'm still not back to my 'normal' energy levels.

I'm not writing all this as "oh poor me aren't I pitiful."  It's the hand I've been dealt, and it's the hand I'm playing.  I'm learning more and more each month about the best ways to move forward, the best strategies to make this life work for me.  This past week, I came up with a workflow adjustment that has some promising effects on my engagement and productivity, not just in work but in the other things I want to do (be it flute practice, strength or flexibility training, or whatever else).  Testing is still ongoing, but initial results look optimistic.  But it's coming at a time when I'm overall just...far less vibrant than usual.  

I imagine my posting rate on this blog will remain around once per month, on average, for the foreseeable future.  Until something substantial changes and I do more exploring and such from week to week, there just isn't anything worth saying.  I'm okay with that.  But if you're checking this more than maybe once a week, once every two weeks, feel free to put it further in the back of your mind 😆 

In closing, please enjoy this picture of me in a weird sun visor that I intentionally put on wrong.